from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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