Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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