i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
