I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
