I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
