I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
