either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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