Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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