he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
