I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
