How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
