well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
