Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
