i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
