You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
