Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
It all started with a game of naked twister.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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