I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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