they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
