I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
