I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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