somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
