well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
