My underwear smells like fireworks.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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