names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
