so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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