This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
