she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
