Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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