Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
