his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
