just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
