I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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