i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
