Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
