Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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