I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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