What a fucking waste of an outfit
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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