i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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