Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
