I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
