Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
