i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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