ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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