Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
How naked do you want me to be?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
