I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
that is very illegal...i love you.
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