just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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