She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
