Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
