She announced her abortion via fbk
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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