Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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